UPDATE : 2018.7.1 일 01:54

[Vol. 74] Abnormal Summit by INDIGO

Agenda: Is EU's Refugee Quota appropriate solution for Migrant crisis? 박진수 기자l승인2015.10.23l수정2015.10.23 19:58






* Blue written words are actually spoken by their leaders

INDIGO: This theme is from the recent surge of refugees and migrants. So far 530,000 of them have fled to Europe this year and over million migrants are expected to come by the end of this year. In this situation“refugee quota” has been dealt among EU states as one of the solutions. But still many countries have doubts about it. Therefore, today we are going to discuss the following topic: Is Refugee Quota appropriate solution for Migrant crisis?

: As we all know, we had downsized but same plan in June to redistribute 40,000 refugees over EU states before this huge refugee crisis occurred. But the refugees have not been relocated yet. Then should we build another refugee quota for extra 120,000? Well, I am out. Instead I will resettle 20,000 Syrians refugee over the next five years. Aren't I sympathetic?

: I am more sympathetic than you UK! I take part in this quotas and will take 30,000 refugees over the next TWO years! We wanted to accept more refugees but I have already accepted 200,000 migrants per year...can not take more than that.


: Hmm…(holding a picture high to show how many Syrian refugees she has taken so far) I do agree that refugee quota is not a perfect solution. However I think it is the best way to manage this situation for now and it will be a first step to finally solving the migrant crisis in Europe. In fact for many years only Greece, Italy and Hungary have cared about illegal migrants including refugees. Now it is time to show our solidarity. I know we are a little bit tired of migrants but I would like to say that the refugees out there have nothing to do with it. They need shelter. Moreover, we have done nothing as much as other countries have done for Syrian refugees. We can work it out!

: Like you have just said I am so tired of migrants. I have also accepted thousands of illegal migrants and refugees so far and tried to cope with them. However, more than 270,000 migrants have reached here ILLEGALLY so far this year. Can you believe it? I have got finally an anti-refugee hysteria! I feel so insecure when I am around migrants. Honestly, I hate refugees because they are Muslims and threatening our Christian heritage. I know they had no choice but to flee. But I am really terrified. I have even built razor-wire fence to protect myself from migrants. I want no more migrants, do you get it? My friends Czech, Slovakia, Rumania have also similar symptoms.

: Calm down, Hungary...I will explain our statement more logically. I do not believe it will work for three reasons. First, this quota would deprive our sovereign right to decide our own asylum policies. Second, this would only encourage more refugees to come and most critical of all, and third, refugees would not stay here. How would you make them stick here? And even if it is successful, very soon we'll realize that the emperor is naked! :(

: Have you ever read the plan? It says migrants can be deported if they enter another EU country illegally. Ah... guys please help me. Greece and I scoop up almost 700 illegal migrants from the Mediterranean everyday. Most of them were from Africa or elsewhere. If we only take refugees from Syria, Iraq and Eritrea, it will be fine. We can make it.

: I do not think so because a refugee will get €6,000 in EU aid towards his/her integration. Many fake refugees will come up and do anything to get the money! Already it has been reported that 20% of Syrian refugees are fake. Could we win over those desperate people?

: Did you hear that? I hate migrants!!  Why do they keep coming to my house? Fxxk you refugees!!!! Sorry that was my second personality!! I love you refugees and migrants!!

(Finland is dragged out)

INDIGO: In this year from January to July, 438,000 refugees applied for asylum in EU. So, could I say the figure ‘120,000’ of new refugee quota has no practical meaning but just to symbolize that EU still pursues European spirit such as humanity and justice?

: Umm, you can say so but we really assume that it will work. Since 182,000 of 485,000 was Syrian and I believe that many refugees we can take in. We plan to set up "hotspots" in Turkey, Italy and Greece, to identify genuine refugees and prevent economic migrants entering EU illegally. To do so will lead us to establish stable and secured refugee accepting process then we could take more refugees or migrants based on it. In addition we have pledged to strengthen out bloc's external borders and do more to remove failed asylum seekers, as currently the deportation rate is below 40%. But we know this is not enough. More fundamental approach to this problem is needed.

: For that, we have agreed on financial support to nations where refugees stop by like Turkey, Lebanon, Jordan to offer better living conditions to refugee camps there. Also we are planning to give a billion euro to UNHCR to help many more asylum seeker over the world. Furthermore we plan to reinforce EU navy force to keep illegal human smugglers at bay. They are the worst people in this situation!

: But recently I have talked with Lebanon and he said he is sure that there would be ISIS agents who can bring real chaos in Europe among the refugees. I agree that without ending the war, there would be no peace and no chance for refugees to go back home.

France: He is right. We must find fundamental solution to bring peace in Syria and nearby countries so we can prevent further refugees. Refugee quota seems not a genuine solution for this crisis but just a stopgap. Financial assist is done. Then I would send my battle planes and remove ISIS training centers to bring my peace back!!!!!  Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

(One of IS training centers destroyed)  

INDIGO: Woh, take it easy France! One report from UNHCR said even if the war ends, there will still be a great influx of refugees not from Syria but from elsewhere. Unless you guys block the “refugee black hole” in Libya.

: We will do our best to solve this problem. Thank you. (whispering) 
Why don't we have our discussions off the record from here, huh?  

(INDIGO is dragged out.)

박진수 기자  sz24@naver.com
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